so 2 days ago, i met this guy paul online. so far i like him, although i don't know much about him. right now i'm going to just keep him as a friend until i decide if i really like him or not.

my roommate told a friend to come over while she was at work. this guy is wierd. i really don't like him. freak. he just thinks out loud constantly. it's like he like to hear himself talk.

I feel like one. my best friend, Nicole, and her father paid for this month's rent because I was out of a job and had no money. I finally got one and thought they would get off my back, at least a little. But the other day Nicole told me to clean the house because her father was coming over either that day or the next to check out the house before he leaves the coutry. (which he does a lot, he really "well off" to say the least.) Anyway, she told me that the house has to be spotless. So, she left to do somethings, not sure what, and I stayed home and cleaned. I did this for most the day. I cleaned the kitchen and washed the floor, did dishes, organized the living room (aka my bedroom) and vacuumed it, organized her clothes in to hampers and bags(which were scattered everywhere), and organized the bathroom. After all that, it was late and I was tired. so I stopped. The only things that needed to be done were clean the bathroom and organize her room. The bathroom I was going to finish on my next day off; which, by the way, I did this past monday. (I refuse to clean her room because she'll mess it up again by the next day.) The rest of the house was spotless. I also was going to wash the mats for the bathroom and kitchen, but couldn't because she took all the quarters. Anyway, so her father showed up while I was at work and supposedly was pissed off because I didn't clean the bathroom. Then, when she told me about what he said, she also said "i don't know how I'm going to be able to let you stay here" or something to that effect. Apprently, by not cleaning the bathroom, I wasn't doing my fair share or something. So, basicly if I don't keep the house perfect, I can't live there anymore; at least until I pay back her father. In essence, I'm an indentured servent. I'm really pissed off by this. Not only do I have to work to pay back the money I owe him, but I'm forced to keep the entire house clean until I do so. Oh yeah, she also orders me around like I'm a maid.

well, apparently my best friend nicole didn't forget my b-day. i made an ass out of myself. she asked me to do something really important and i said i would. but i didn't. i was really mad at her because she didn't even say happy birthday and i though she forgot. well, she called me later and asked if i did it, and i told her no. she got really pissed. she said that she was going to cancel the plans she had told me about two months ago. i felt like an ass, so on my way to work, i did what she asked. i think she went ahead with the plans she had for us, but just with her ex-bf. i'm not sure though. she might still have plans for this weekend or she might have canceled them altogether. anyway, i'm an ass sometimes.

happy birthday, me. yay. *no feeling*

hey guys, i know it's been a while since my last post. anyway, so tues's my b-day and i have a feeling that my best friend...well actually eveyone, is going to forget it. none of my "friends" ever seem to want to hang out with me. my best friend, nicole, is irritated because i lost my denny's job (though no fault of my own) and i haven't been able to find work. well, i just did at taco bell; i start tues. anyway, the fact that i couldn't pay rent or any bills and that i was eating and she decided not to in order to conserve food, she was mad and didn't want to hang out with me. i think she still is. it feel like no one wants to hang out with me. when ever i ask one of my friends if they want to hang out they always say that they already have plans. i'm just frustrated. i finally have weekend nights off and nobody wants to do anything. so, i end up sitting alone in my apt, watching tv, reeading books, and going online. anyway, i'm just lonely.

I had the most eventful Valentine's day ever this year. My best friend Nicole took me to Dick's cabaret, an all nude male strip club (my first time at a strip club). I met one by the name of Kyle. Oh my goddess, he was hot. He had the best legs I've seen in a long time. Most guys work on their upper body but kind of neglect their legs. I think that's one of the hottest parts on a guy. Anyway, Nicole bought me 3 lap dances: one from Kyle (I thought his was the best); one with another stripper, Derek (he was pretty freaky, in a good way); and the last with "Diesel" (the least experienced of the group, ok lap dance, needs work). After they closed, Nicole and I went to her Denny's for something to eat and she invited Mark (aka Diesel) to join us. When we were done, she dropped me off and hung out with Mark. When she got back, we all sleep, well Scoot and I did, she never really sleeps well. Then last night, Scott, this cute guy who I'm letting stay at my apartment, finally let me give him a bj, though he didn't let me finish (he said, "Nicole's better", bastard; very rude) and made Nicole finish. But damn, that boy's big. Breeders, what are you going to do, you know? Anyway, that was my Valentine's Day 2006.

this week i'm taking a night class to make it up. holy amoxicillin!!! the men in my class are hot. i'd love to just jump there bones. anyway, there is also this chica has these cool shoes that are a better shade of pink than mine, i'm jealous. the class itself is more fun than the morning class. if i had of known this i probably would have taken the night classes and would have showed up all the time and wouldn't need to retake classes. also, my friend gave me her sore throat, i think. it's just starting...we'll see.

:sings:
"i don't to be going through the motion, losing all my drive. i can't even see if this is really me. i just want to be....alive!!!"

goddess, i feel so...empty, emotionless. like buffy in "Once more with feeling" all i'm doing is going through the motions, just existing. i keep wondering, is this it, is this my life? i'm sick of my mom riding me about everything. when i try to take responsablity and take care of a matter that need to be taken care, like finacial aid, she yells at me when i don't ask the right question or get all the info. i try to ask all the right questions and get the right answers but there's always 1 or 2 things i don't think to ask or forget to ask.

going to school is a pain in the ass. my teacher is very unprofessional. he makes fun of the other teacher all the time to his face or to the students. i hate going cause he makes it so boring. we sit in class and take notes for 2-3 hours for 2-3 days. the classes are usually only 5 days long. thank the goddess i'm almost done. luckily, i like some of the people in my class and they can put up w/ me. i know my out burst can be distruptive sometimes, but i can help it. it's the ADD. i have chronic paratachylinguarrhea (para - abnormal, tachy - rapid/fast, lingua - tongue, rrhea - flow)

work is so very shitty. so much drama, so little work. i'm just frustrated.

Thank the goddess for Nicole. she is the one thing in my life i really look forward to. i love her so much. if she lost the boobs and grew a penis i'd ask her out. we are so much a like.

anyway, i need sleep., i have to go to to "the salt mines" tonight. oh my goddess, i hate it.

Eric

i just got a new phone for christmas. (i only celeb. cause family does.) anyway, lots of fun features, yay!!

Bide ye Wiccan laws ye must,
in perfect love and perfect trust.

Live and let live,
fairly take and fairly give.

Cast the Circle thrice about
to keep evil spirits out.

To bind the spell every time,
let the spell be spake in rhyme.

Soft of eye and light of touch—
speak little, listen much.

Dosil go by the waxing Moon—
Sing and dance the Wiccan rune.

Widdershins go when the Moon doth wane,
And the Werewolf howls by the dread Wolfsbane.

When the Lady's Moon is new,
kiss the hand to her times two.

When the Moon rides at her peak,
then yours heart’s desire seek.

Heed the Northwind’s mighty gale—
lock the door and drop the sail.

When the wind comes from the South,
love will kiss thee on the mouth.

When the wind blows from the East,
expect the new and set the feast.

When the West wind blows over thee,
departed spirits restless be.

Nine woods in the cauldron go—
burn them quick and burn them slow.

Elder be ye Lady's tree
burn it not or cursed ye'll be.

When the wheel begins to turn—
let the Beltane fires burn.

When the Wheel has turned a Yule,
light the Log and let Pan rule.

Heed ye flower, bush, and tree—
by the Lady blessed be.

Where the rippling waters go
cast a stone and truth ye'll know.

When ye have need,
hearken not to other’s greed.

With the fool no season spend
or be counted as his friend.

Merry meet and merry part—
bright the cheeks and warm the heart.

Mind the Threefold Law ye should—
three times bad and three times good.

When misfortune is enow,
wear the blue star on thy brow.

True in love ever be,
unless thy lover’s false to thee.

Eight words the Wiccan Rede fulfill—
And harm none, do what ye will.

Top Twelve Reasons Against Gay Marriage

Top twelve reasons homosexual marriage should not be legal:
1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control.
2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can’t legally get married because the world needs more children.
3. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful, since Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.
5. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are property, blacks can’t marry whites, and divorce is illegal.
6. Gay marriage should be decided by people not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities.
7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.
8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
10. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why single parents are forbidden to raise children.
11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven’t adapted to cars or longer lifespans.
12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a “separate but equal” institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages for gays and lesbians will.

i saw rent saturday!! amazing movie!!! i saw it with nicole, though she won't say so, cagna!! :)

(sings)
live in my house, i'll be your shelter. just pay me back with 1000 kisses. be my lover, i'll cover youuuu.

open your door, i'll your tenant. don't got much baggage to lay at your feet. but sweet kisses i've got spare. i'll be there and i'll cover youuuu!!!

she fucking stood me up, after coming over my house yesterday amd bitching about how she got stood up. she's hypocrit.

Narnia comes out today!!!!!!!! yeah!!!!!

i'm so sick of school. it's so boring. i'm so burnt out. i'm sick of being by myself w/ no one to talk to. i'm just sick of it all. the high point of my week is when i go to ihop on sun mornings after work w/ my coworkers. sad, isn't it? i need a life, stat!!!

just making a post so people don't think i'm dead or something.

this guy i'm "trying" to see, Athen, i feel is not that interested in me. we were supposed to hang out yesterday, but when i was about to take a shower and head over to his house, he calls me and tells me he got called into work and was going to try and get out of it. he never called me back. i figure he "couldn't" get out of it. either that or he wouldn't. i mean, if i didn't want to go to work on my day off and they called me in i would say no i can't. but he didn't. i haven't seen him in over 2 weeks and the one day we have off he lets himself get called into work. i pisses me off!!!!

i got a message from him 2 days ago saying that his son who has cancer had taken a turn for the worst and that he was busy with that. i feel better knowing that he had something really important to do and wasn't just blowing me off for the past 2 weeks, though i am sad to hear about his son.